No one ever started anything with perfection.

The unknown and unpredictable is scary. Being or feeling in control prevents us from thinking we are vulnerable. I know I like to carry around the feeling of " I got my shit together, just look and see". Well I have learned from my toddler that everyday there will always be chaos and mistakes. With my due date of baby #2 tomorrow I am reminded that many times life works in a way where we must embrace the unknown.

The first time around during childbirth I had a vision in my head of exactly what I wanted to happen and exactly what I wanted my post-partum experience to be.

I was so naive, and I think ignorance can contribute to blissful bravery. My toddler was 4 days late, she clearly had her own timeline that was out of my control. My midwife was not available so I had the on-call provider because I couldn't control their schedule. I didn't believe I would be affected by those raging post birth hormones, until my mind and body showed me otherwise. Childbirth is messy and emotional. Raising a family is exciting, but exhausting. Being a part of a relationship can be so fulfilling  yet predictable. All these life events involve other people; that have their own hearts, minds, schedules and lifestyles. We can not control every aspect of every experience, so how do we come to accept the messy hiccups along the way? How do we put our guard down and allow the changes life throws our way to be positive?

I am still learning every day how to be more vulnerable and open because I struggle with this more than others. Perfection doesn't exist. We have to remind ourselves this every time we scroll through Facebook, start a new job, try something new and anytime we are out of our comfort zone. There will always be failures and scars with each life adventure. There will be failure and scars in our everyday lives.
So next time you feel embarrassed, scared, angry and have your defenses up try these things to experience a more wholehearted life.

1. Ask yourself; Will this matter in 5 years? 

This helps put  things in perspective. I started doing this a long time ago to learn to let the little things go. Don't stress the small things because you will need that energy for the big things. This is especially true when raising children. It will help you identify what truly matters and where the compromises will have to fall.

2. Baby steps. 

If you are scared to plunge into something, try to start small. If you want to paint, but are too embarrassed to take a college course, start with some YouTube videos. If you want to write a book about your experiences, but are overwhelmed, then start with one short story. If you want to improve your family relationships, but feel disconnected, make a commitment to call once a week. If you want to run a half marathon, start with a walk every night. Small steps to express your creativity and live a fulfilling life begin with baby steps. No one ever started anything with perfection.

3. Give it some time. 

Trust and connection is built over time. Forgiveness gets easier with time. Keep practicing what makes your heart happy because most things improve with practice and time.

This post was inspired by a book I finished reading Daring Greatly By Brene Brown. So if you are interested in learning about living a more wholehearted life give it a read.