I didn't particularly love my job before I went on maternity leave, but I was missing the routine and the independence I had before this newborn entered my life; oh and the sleep... did I mention that I missed the sleep? I felt like a stranger in my own life, I didn't even recognize myself. I felt like I had lost my identity and I wasn't quite sure I was ready or wanted this new identity. But I was always sure I wanted to be with my baby everyday and it was hard for me to even leave her for a short time, So going back to work was not the right choice for me. I had to create a familiarity in this new life. We have the choice to invent and reinvent our life story every day. With motherhood I needed to start a new chapter.
Slowly with time, and more sleep, I began to appreciate this new life as a stay at home mom. I started to see the positive moments with so much more clarity instead of worrying about what I thought my life should be like. The moments when we are outside and the weather is perfect and she is full of joy exploring the world. The moments she hugs and snuggles with the dogs so peacefully. The moment she first played in the rain. The moment she accomplishes something and turns around with a big smile. Those moments I get to be a part of every day began to be what I focused on. The moments when she is screaming, dogs running through the house loudly, messes everywhere and the 2nd or 3rd poopy diaper change also happen... everyday, but what job doesn't have downsides.
I came up with a few things that helped me with the change. Now Ill have something to look at in a few months when I am back to those newborn days. You could also apply these to other difficult life changes.